Post From A Father

Writing this blog comes so easy to me that all I have to do is to sit back and write; my daughter does the rest- she gives me so much to write. I have already logged 233 posts before this- posts that track the growth of my daughter; posts that celebrate parenthood; posts that are about different beings- being of a daughter, father, mother, grand-mother, grand-father, uncle, brother, sister; all known by different names but closely entangled with one another like precious pearls stringed together into a beautiful necklace!

All along these 11 months, just a thought of writing for my daughter used to fill me with much energy and vigor emanating out of the love, affection and emotions that I carry in my heart. Everything written on this blog looked very special to me.....I began to feel as if my daughter is a special daughter and me a special father....

My feelings of being special stands corrected....Corrected after coming to know of the death of a father- a 29 year old dad to a beautiful 18 month old daughter....... a father who loved his daughter as much as any other dad would......a father whose life used to revolve around his daughter.......A young talented engineer who was a devoted son of his parents.....a brother .....and a loving husband of a 24 year old woman.

In the death of Kshitij, Suman (my wife's cousin) lost her beloved husband, Charu lost her father, proud parents lost their son and brother lost his comrade in arms....while so many others lost so many forms and names they used to associate themselves to Kshitij with........He died at the hands of killer swine-flu and careless doctors- who continued treating him for -God knows what, when everything else was pointing at swine-flu.

My heart cries for everyone's in Kshitij's family....and it cries more for Charu....for whom it will be a case of delayed grief as she doesn't know the real meaning of this tragedy.....her eyes will always be waiting for her loving father, her ears will wait endlessly to listen to her father's voice.....to experience his touch.......While she waits endlessly for her father; her father will be watching him from the heavens....watching at his creation....... asking her a question that he always used to ask-" Who is his papa's daughter?"........but Charu will never be able to point at her as she used to and Kshitij will never see her do that......for both have lost that physical closeness to be able to talk to each other to answer that ...... to a cruel fate....

Of all 6 billion pearls and a equally big number of necklaces that those pearls have been stringed into; sadly one string of pearls is lying on the floor...broken after one pearl is gone forever.......God alone can guide the family and show them the way.......Our love and sympathies are with Kshitij's family in this hour of grief.....May his young soul Rest In Peace.......

Everything, that looked so special to me about my daughter until yesterday looks very general to me.......

Everything is special yet nothing is special!

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Dehradun Trip Update

I am now going to try and pack past 10 days in few hundred words................As mentioned earlier; we reached Dehradun on the night of 10th June after driving down from Gurgaon. An ostensible reason for this trip was to attend my Sunil mama’s marriage on 17th June; however my father sneaked in his resting needs to convert this into a rejuvenating break for himself.

My first day in Dehradun started early on a refreshing note with my dada taking me around our lawn for a dekko. Soon, my Rudra bhai and Ridhima didi joined in as well. I must mention here that both of them share an amazing chemistry; and anyone going by their innocent faces will do so only at its own peril. That day also, it wasn’t the lawn but the lure of the sprinkler system that brought them to the lawn. No wonder, they soon started the sprinkler to play with the water. I was tempted to join them but could only watch them helplessly- they are in the best phase of their childhood........

Here is one more picture of our “Gang of Three”. Next day, I went to my nana’s place and would remain there until 19th June.....I was attending a marriage for the first time. My Sunil mama was a happy man and so was his family. Indian weddings are usually a lavish affair and this one was no exception either. But what caught my fancy was specially invited troika of traditional folk artists playing their drums and bagpipes. < I will upload the video soon>.
Edited to add: Here is the video. Please unmute your speakers to hear the music.

This post can’t end without making mention of one bizarre accident that took place on the night of marriage day and involved myself and my mother. I was crying and needed milk, so my mother decided to feed me and she chose her brother’s car for that. As it was hot outside, she switched on the car ignition to start the air-conditioning. As soon as she did that, the car started moving- apparently the driver had forgotten to pull the hand-brakes when he first parked it....Ignorant of the seriousness of the accident, I was in my mom’s lap; while my mom was being dragged along the moving car with her one foot inside the moving car and other one on the ground. Left with no option, she jumped out to save me; injuring her knee and thighs. Her post delivery weight added more to her injury. However, we are thankful to the God for saving two lives as it could have been worse then what it seems......

My mom and I returned to our Dehradun home on 19th June. We came back to Gurgaon on 21st June after an uncomfortable drive of 11 hours; of which 5 hours were spent in a traffic jam......following picture will give you an idea of what I went through......

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Happy Birthday!

..........to my dadee as she celebrated her birthday today with us in Gurgaon; while my dada, Renu bua, Ashu chacha, Shikha chachee, Ridhima didi and Rudra bhai celebrated in Dehradun.

We all went to the market (Gold Souk Mall) in the afternoon to buy my dadee her birthday present-a diamond ring. She wasn't comfortable with the idea of giving her a ring but my parent's persistence made her agree to it. Actually, it was my Renu bua's idea as she had told my papa about it yesterday. I was at my boisterous best at the Jewellery shop; I guess being a girl was the other reason apart from general excitement! Later in the night, my dadee would cut her birthday cake and I will be the first one to taste it.
Before I end this post, let me write few words directly to my dadee:

Dadee- As I can't speak yet; I want you to know through these words that I have a deep love and affection for you in my heart. My wishes for your good health, happiness and joy in this New Year and many years thereafter are always with you and I pray to God for that........

I have seen you taking care of me during these first formative months despite your back-ache; complaining not even once......I know it must have been tough for you to; ...... be with me in Gurgaon when your own daughter (my Renu bua) is in Dehradun for the treatment of her stomach ache after returning from Uganda for that reason only.............or, to let my dada live alone in Dehradun .........or, to leave comfortable climate of Dehradun for blistering heat of Gurgaon........all for my cause! I don’t know what to say about that.........

I can always say- I love you dadee!

Come wednesday and we all will be in Dehradun.....so, three more days!

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Thank You My Lord!

Something is amiss since yesterday morning. First, my father averted a head on collision by applying brakes on time while on our way to doctor in the morning. I was seated next to him on my mom’s lap and the sudden jerk scared the hell out of my parents. But my mom’s grip was tight enough to avoid a major incident. But that same grip wasn’t strong enough in the evening while I was seated inside my pram outside a nearby shopping mall. The result was that she lost her grip of the moving pram on a slope; hearing my dadee shout, my papa came running but not before the pram had hit the side pavement. Still, he could avoid a major accident by stopping it much ahead of the iron grills in front. My mom was turned into a statue in shock, my dadee couldn’t believe her eyes, papa was angry as well as surprised; and I was crying. Thankfully, I didn’t suffer any injury but a slight scratch near my collar bone........

As if those two incidents were not enough, I again landed like a cat on all fours off my bed this morning. And this time the effect of impact was there to see on the right side of my head in the form of a small bump. Soon thereafter a smile on my face helped restore the normalcy. The bump too is back to normal now.

Three incidents in a span of less than 24 hours but I escaped unhurt in all of them. I must thank God....He sure is watching us; Thank you my Lord!

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My Homecoming

6th November; 6 pm

All the formalities for my departure from hospital have now been completed and it is time to head back home. I am really excited and so is everyone of mine. I am wearing pink coloured jacket top with pink coloured nappy and a white cap. My dadee would wrap me in a soft sky blue blanket to protect me from November chill- something I must get used to as global climate change would continue to ensure cooler winters in Northern India.

My dadee was holding me with my dada and mummy as her company; my papa was on the wheels. Soon we reached my home, where we would be welcomed by my Rudra bhai, chacha, chachee and Shanti auntie-my nanny. My dadee would then complete religious rituals to thank God and His kindness for ensuring my safe and secure delivery followed by a small prayer on her lips to seek Almighty's blessings over all the members of our family forever.

My chachee was the first one to hold me followed by my chahca. I was feeling relieved to be home but hungry me started crying for milk; my chachee would then make me drink lactogen milk. Everybody was in a celebratory mood barring my Rudra bhai- afterall it is time for him to share the dais with me; something that he is not used to being the undisputed king for 10 months..... But, I am pretty sure that we will forge a strong bond between us.

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Thank You All!

My safe and secure journey from a tiny life cell to a complete human being requires me to thank and greet everyone who played a role in this entire process. God comes first followed by my family members.

But then I must make special mention of Meenakshi auntie, Umang uncle, Maneesh uncle, Jaideep uncle, Rashmee auntie and all the unnamed sisters who helped me come into this world safely. I thank each and everyone from the bottom of my tender heart. I wish them more success and good health in the pursuit of their medical profession- a noble profession indeed. They are always the first people who touch you in every way and it is amazing to see the same level of energy and dedication every time they help deliver.

A life born out of fusion between two Individuals and carried through for next nine months by God's amazing engineering is ultimately taken to its logical conclusion by these practitioners of medical profession only. There names might differ from place to place but their act remains same all throughout. God and His creations are great.

Thank you my Lord for everything.

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Experiencing My First Touch

My mom was moved into the room no. 303 at around 5 pm; where I would join her at around 5.30 pm. Hospital nurse would put me inside my cradle and move me into my room with my dadee and chachee escorting me.My dada, my mother and my bhai Rudra were waiting to welcome me. As soon as I entered that room, my dadee would embrace me and take me in her arms and I could feel that special touch– a soft touch of love, care, joy, excitement, fulfillment and blessings; a touch to thank God for ensuring safety of both me and my mother with prayer on her lips. My dada would then hold me and his touch was no different than that of my dadee- a touch full of love, care, excitement, joy and blessings while thanking God for His kindness. My chachee too would take his turn to hold me with Rudra bhai looking on. Last but not the least,my mom would take me in her arms and it was truly an amazing experience to be held by her for the first time after keeping me inside her womb for 9 months. The soft cuddle and the touchy sensation was once in a life time experience. I was living that moment fully and completely. Everyone’s eyes were talking to me and I was responding to them in my own way.

The room was completely filled with love, joy, excitement and gratitude. It was the space that I was waiting for long in general and since 9.17 am in particular. My father would enter the room and find him lost for words. He touched me and held me with care and love; prayers on his lips. If I were to describe all this experience in one sentence, I would say- truly a divine experience to be surrounded by my loved ones with expressions of love, care, happiness and gratitude to God. Life outside is wonderful.

My chacha would join us soon; he is an expert in holding kids and held me with such precision and care. He too was an expression of love and would become the first person to gift me- A hundred rupee note; something I am going to cherish throughout my life.

Later, we all would be joined by my Mamta auntie (my mother’s sister), Sunil uncle, Shubham Bhaiya and Riya didi. My auntie would take me into her arms and bless me. My total kitty would soon grow to Rs 200- 100% growth in a span of an hour and that too in such a severe economic downturn……

Now I am looking forward to the visit of Renu Bua, Rakesh Mama and Ridhima didi which would be next day i.e. 4th Nov.

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