Last Week's Absence

It has been almost a week since I posted on my blog. Actually, last week was all about consolidating the gains of the past. My bonding with my mother continued to grow and I would smile at her face every now and then. One notable development in the past one week was that I have learnt to keep myself busy while in my cot- by moving my legs and arms & this would mean that I sleep on my own with any assistance.

On Christmas day, my mother would put on red and white coloured clothes; she herself wear that combination on every Christmas. My father, who is in Gurgaon would utilise his Christmas holiday shopping for me. He bought me lot of clothes from Monalisa.... Come Friday, and he would board afternoon train to Dehradun. Saturday morning was when I met him and he would take me to my home to meet my dada and dadee; who are busy preparing for the lunch party that they are organising to celebrate my Rudra bhai's birthday and my naming ceremony.

My mother and I would come back to our home for a lunch party on 30th December; and that would mean that everyone at my nanee's place will have to negotiate tears for some days to come.... they, for sure are missing me and I am missing them as well. But, I am happy to be back and is looking forward to the celebration.

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Temple Visit, Spectre of 280 Kms

My father would reach my nana's place in the afternoon and will wake me up out of my sleep. For a change, I too would not feel bad about it; normally I always do. Dehradun weather is windy today so my papa would cover me suitably to beat the December chill. We would soon head to nearby Lakshman Sidha temple- (http://dehradun.nic.in/fairsfest.htm). I was visiting Lakshman Sidha temple for the second time; first one was while I was inside my mother's womb. After offering our prayers in the temple, my father requested the Priest to let us sit inside a hut, where sacred fire is burning since time immemorial. My papa and mom, both sipped tea as offered by the priests and we came back to my nana's place afterwards. I was irritable in my sleep for past many days, but thing were set to change after our visit to the temple; such is the power of the sacred fire. My father would come to know the next day that I slept peacefully throughout the night unlike past few days, when I was irritable and would not sleep before 2am.

It would not be too long when I will again be faced with the spectre of 280kms distance- my Papa has to go back as he leaves for Delhi in the night; so I thought it best to give him a precious gift- "smile while in his lap".

While I am trying my level best to lighten the sombre mood by flashing smiley dimples, my mom would reveal her different plans as tears came flowing down her cheeks...

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My Few Days As Captured By Lens

8th Dec-That's my first authentic smiling pic- On my own bed in my home
15th December-Sleeping Reveda at her nana's place
15th December-Just woke up
15th December-Oh! I am still sleepy
15th December-Thinking Reveda
18th December-Can't keep those legs inside my blanket
18th December-Sarcastic look!
18th December-And now smiling
20th Dec- Just met my Papa-time to flash my dimples
20th Dec-Papa! see that's how I smile
20th Dec- Papa! where were you?

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Surprise, Union, Wait & More

My father continues to surprise himself more so than anybody else as he would reach the railway station well in time to catch his train; ticket for which was booked well in time. "Wow, now that's an achievement dad!"- is how I would have reacted to it in my voice. He was home by 10pm on Friday night but, I would see him next morning only as I am at my nana's place crying incessantly; making my mother think that I have a colic problem- poor mom cannot understand the real reason! And, she would use all the tricks up her sleeve namely,“colic-aid” or applying a mixture of “asafoetida” aka “heeng”(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asafoetida) and clarified butter (ghee drawn from cow’s milk) around my navel; but nothing would help until I am off to sleep on my own.

Next morning, my father would take my dadee to Dr. Sanjay Saxena uncle for her endoscopy tests, with my dada giving him the company. Her tests revealed reflux problem (GERD); a common acidity problem which is not serious. Doctor prescribed her some medicines and dietary control for her reflux problem. My father thanked God for His blessings as he was tensed about the tests; he would Pray to Him for His continued blessings over us and His care to look us after well. My dada and dadee would then hire an auto-rickshaw back to home and my father would drive in my direction to reach my nana’s place in flat 10 minutes.

Enters, him in my room to find me on my mother’s lap facing her; he calls my name and I would turn my neck full 180 degrees, look at his face and flash a big smile; it was big. “Surprised” and “moved” are the most appropriate two words that would describe the feelings and emotions of my father and mother at that moment. After few clicks, I would soon head into my sleep while in my father’s lap. Today is my Anil mama’s birthday so Priest is visiting my nana’s home to conduct prayers for the occasion. My nana would request him to do a quick read of my astrological horoscope and as per him; he is not the first one, I have stars that favour me and my family a lot in every field.

I would wake up at around 3pm to accompany my father and mother back to my home to be with my dada and dadee. It was a nice short homecoming session of around two hours that made everyone happy. My father would then take me to nearby Lord Shani Dev Temple with my Dadee, my Himmu dadee and my mother giving us the company. We would offer our prayers to the Lord and seek His blessings. As day is now beginning to fade into night, it is time to head back to my nana’s place. So I would see off my dadee and Himmu dadee to reach my destination in next 20 minutes; of course with my mother and father along. One more seeing off session- this time with my father; he would kiss me on my forehead with a promise to see me again next day. And with that would begin, another wait.....

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Human Behaviour- No Mystery

Human behaviour is an extremely complex arrangement of emotions and thoughts; negative and positive always jostling for space and fighting daily battles to gain an edge over one another to prove their respective supremacy. The end result is that complexity continues to grow to keep pace with the development of the human being. Soon, time comes when complexity grows to such an extent that both the “resident” aka “human behaviour” and the “host” alias “human being” come to become one; thus altering the course of life forever.

Ever wonder why we react differently to exactly similar situations or individuals for that matter? - In that merger lays the answer to all those questions.

Being an infant, I am still far away from all those complexities as my emotional repertoire is also in its early infancy just like me. However, this situation is not something carved in stone and it will not be very long when I too will eventually join this rat race; ready to face the world and react as it expects me to react.

I asked myself- is that how I would want to be; merely acting as a puppet with my strings in the hands of everyone else?

That’s when I came up with this answer through my father’s thought- my own blog. To my readers, this might sound too melodramatic or an abnormal statement. My plain retort to them is- when kids can come to become a life out of an union between two human beings, why should they be not allowed to convey/communicate their thoughts through those two beings. Afterall every kid, till he/she becomes self-reliant remain an inseparable part of their parents despite their biological separation; incidentally the separation occurs not out of their own wish but because of a God designed biological exigency that a mother’s womb cannot hold them beyond 9 months.

Born in a year, when Barack Obama managed to join the only missing piece in Martin Luther King’s famous assertion-“I have a dream”; this demanding daughter too dares to dream and her dream is- “to be an outstanding human being”. And, I am helped in my mission by my father who, through this blog is documenting my evolution as a human being during my formative years with an aim to make available to me; the crucial data points that will assist me unravel/demystify the mystery that shrouds the inconsistencies in human behaviour. After all, to tread on known rather than on unknown always helps and allows us to improve, lest we want otherwise!

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Missing Me!

I seemed to have negotiated my post vaccination problems quite well as I woke up fresh to a chilly morning. Dehradun weather is now beginning to show its true colours with every other day witnessing a drop in temperature as compared to the previous one. Come winters and my mother begins to feel bit uncomfortable as she cannot withstand the winter chill, on the other hand my father loves winter. How diametrically opposite personalities they are! My daily chores would soon get over and that is when I am told that my dada and my dadee are coming to see me. It was good to meet them after so many days and their feelings were no less different. I could notice that they are missing me a lot. 280 kms away from us, my father is getting ready to leave for Dehradun friday afternoon. So, he would go to the market and buy me diapers (28 Fixies and 56 Pigeon- they don't sell them in Dehradun). He is a compulsive spender..... Before I end this post, I must tell you that today one monkey stepped inside our Gurgaon house and would not leave until he finds my Rudra bhai's bib....I am sure that monkey wants his/her kid to be like my Rudra bhai- an ever smiling kid- monkey in its case ...

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Vaccination Day

17 December is my Vaccination day and my mother would help me get ready early. She would put my green coloured top on me; I seem to have developed some kind of fascination for this top. We would then reach Doon Valley Hospital in my nana's car; where I am given two different vaccines-Pentorium (combination vaccine for DTP and other diseases)and Rotarix (read more at- http://www.rotarix.com/features.html). My vaccination was bit painful and it will unsettle me from that point onwards for the rest of the day. I would cry more frequently than I usually do. My worried mother would give me crocin drops as she feels that I am feverish. I guess mothers tend to worry more as I could hear my father telling my mother over phone that it is normal for kids to feel so after vaccination. I too feel that this one day long inconvenience is nothing in front of the mental peace and comfort these vaccines helps bring for the rest of my life.

In the end, one noticeable incident that I must mention here is that today my highly disorganised father booked his to and fro train ticket between New Delhi and Dehradun- full 2 days in advance. Trust me, it is an absolutely amazing achievement for him- must have required lot of effort and dedication from him......

Good job indeed my dad!

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My Voice

I have successfully adapted myself to my nana’s place and am now beginning to enjoy all the attention I am getting from the visitors and my nana’s family. However, my voice is sitting 280 kilometres away from me and this state of separation does obstruct my ability to communicate my story, as seen by my eyes. But, modern technology has come to my rescue as using that, my father can anytime pick up the phone and gather those words that he deems fit to communicate my story, thus successfully keeping my promise.

Very mention of the word "separation" makes me wonder as to what separates the word “separation” from its real meaning- I found it is nothing but “an interval or space” that separates the two. Indeed so, it is nothing but an interval or space that has come to exist between myself and everyone of mine including my father, my dada, my dadee, my chacha, my chachee and my Rudra bhai; albeit temporarily so. However, my lifeline-my mom is there with me all the time. 16th December, for me started with my father calling my mother to enquire about us. I was crying and that is when my mom would put the receiver near my ear drums and make me hear my father’s voice; silence crept in soon afterwards and normalcy was restored-a feat that I would repeat again in the evening. Thus proving beyond doubt that I, now have begin to respond to a known voice- cause for celebration on a very significant achievement; as it points not only to my ability to hear but memorise as well. Well, all my other daily chores are going on as usual and some occasional visits too. That smile on my face is also beginning to grow bigger and I seem to have found favour with the gene that help scalp hairs grow. Humans, no doubt are one of the best creation of God and everything right from conceiving stage proves it every day. But, then I always wonder why some characters/faces in the garb of humans are out to harm this greatest creation of God-The Supreme Power.

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A Week of Mixed Emotions

My father is back in Gurgaon. I would now get to meet him only around Christmas, when he visit us in Dehradun.

My daily chores are progressing as usual with a slight change that from today i.e. 13th December onwards, it will be my nanee who will give me my daily massage and bath until we go back to our house.

We came to our nanee’s place yesterday; I know my dada and dadee are missing me very much. My dadee broke into tears when she spoke to my father over phone after we had left. She was feeling bad as they were missing my in-frequent smiles; something that I started doing from 9th December onwards. Earlier, I used to flash my smiles only while sleeping; but it was from that day onwards; I began flashing it even when awake. My first one for records was flashed while I was in my mother’s lap; she was talking to me and all of a sudden I would start to smile. She was so elated that she instantly called my dadee to join the dekko. That one incident would make my emotional repertoire see its first signification addition-“ability to smile” to an innate one -“ability to cry”.

My dadee would take my mother to Dr Sethi auntie for her check-up; I too joined in. Sethi auntie has been our family doctor ever since my father was born and such is her knowledge about him that upon being enquired about the reasons behind me making strange noises while taking my feed, she shot back-“after all she is Alok’s daughter; you might have forgotten that he too used to do that”.

I have acclimatised well to my Dehradun house but it will not be much before I will have to revisit the whole business of acclimatisation again as we leave for my nanee’s house on 12th. My mother would complete the packing well in time for my nanee to come and pick us from our house and we would reach my nanee’s house at around 2 pm in the afternoon. I am visiting their house for the second time; first was when I came here as an unborn for the house warming ceremony. I would be staying at my nana’s place with my mother for sometime; and I know that while I am here my dada and dadee would miss me a lot, especially my dadee who has been with me ever since I was born. However, they will visit me every now and then as our house is not very far from my nana’s place.

You know this past week was full of mixed emotions-crying, separation, union, smile, nostalgia, spiritual journey, bright colours and so many others. But then that is what life is all about. Isn’t that true?

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Our Dehradun Home

Our Dehradun home is the shining statement of the amount of hard work put in by my dada and dadee. From the conversations I heard while inside my mother’s womb; I know that we used to live in a two room government accommodation and my dada and dadee always used to tell anyone asking them about their own personal house that-“our kids are our house”. P

aucity of financial resources made them work hard to earn extra and place greater emphasis on their kid’s education and upbringing; their hard work paid off in the form of our house- around 4500 sq ft structure standing tall on a 900 yards (approx) plot. Construction of our house was completed in Jan 05 and it took my dada exactly 6months to construct it under his personal supervision. My dadee provided him the moral support and strength with my bua and chacha doing the building design and also ensuring that supplies reach on time and my father taking care of the loan instalments. This house is like a fourth kid for my dada and dadee; no wonder that they do not like to stay in Gurgaon for long. In fact everyone is attached to this house and that attachment and affection makes this house- “Our Home”. Here are some pictures ...........................

View of our house from the edge of the lawns-

Side-view of our house-

Our sidelawns with house in the background-

This is our front lawn-

And this is part of the kitchen garden-

From the porch-

Lawn & drive-way from the rooftop terrace-

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Visit to Sri Sai Baba Temple

8th December would start on a normal note but as the day progresses; it will turn out to be a memorable day for me. The day started with my dadee giving me my daily olive oil massage followed by bath. I would wear a white printed jacket top for my daily dose of sun-bath. I woke up around 1.30pm only. After a quick feeding session, I found myself inside our car with my dadee, mummy and Himmu dadee giving me company. My father was on the steering wheel going towards our destination- Sri Sai Baba temple on the Rajpur Road. Ours is a religious family and it is natural for me to be taken to a temple first, on the day when I step out of my home for the first time in my life. My dada and dadee chose Sri Sai Baba Temple as they regularly visited the temple for offering their prayers for my safe and secure delivery. We would reach the temple gate at 2.09pm. After walking up the stairs, we entered into the main prayer hall- a very calm, quiet and peaceful place with Sri Sai Baba’s statue right in the middle. My dadee would hand me over to the priest who will put me into Sri Sai Baba’s lap to seek His blessings for me and every member of my family- A pure divine experience is how I would describe it. After offering our prayers we came back to our home. My dada could not accompany us to the temple as he had gone to the railway station for booking my father’s train ticket to Delhi.

I would soon begin to feel bad as I come to understand that my father would leave for Delhi in the night. And the night would soon arrive.... it is time to leave for railway station. My father would take me in his arms and give me a warm hug and a kiss on my forehead. I could spot the sudden remarkable change in the environment- my mother in a sombre mood trying her best to successfully hide her tears; but not my dada and dadee who have tears rolling down on to their cheeks; with my father no different than my dada and dadee......

However no one can see my tears as I am too small to shed one but then my heart alone knows that I also can feel the same amount of pain; in fact more as with my limited expressions I cannot express it same as others can..... Kids have so much to do to learn those expressions.

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Sunday Is A Fun Day

As the title suggests, Sunday is truly a fun day- to get up late is my idea of fun. I would wake up only when my father's friend-Naresh uncle comes to meet me. And with his visit would my money kitty go up by another Rs 100. Time for the daily massage and bath- I am beginning to enjoy my massage and bath now especially because I get to enjoy the winter sun right afterwards.. Smart Kid! Huuhh. I would wear my light green top jacket and head to the waiting sun as soon as I am done- obviously helped by my father; I know how to make him move his butt off that bed. I would then sleep for at least 3 hours at stretch. In the evening my father would go to market and bring me few balloons and a swing. If I look back and analyse- I would say that Sunday was all about resting. Here are some pictures taken today...

Right after my bath-

Another one-

My father got me balloons-
One More-

And a swing as well-

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First Day In My Dehradun Home

Although Saturday; still I would wake up early to start it on a refreshing note in my own home. My dadee would complete my daily routine of massage and bath to prepare me for the waiting sun. My dada would get me my Rudra bhai's pink cradle so that I may sleep in the open and enjoy the bright winter sun. It was my first such experience and I would wake up until my father starts to click pictures of flowers in our lawn. I hope he is aware that I am the most beautiful flower........so he would click my pictures with colourful flowers providing in the background. You know our Dehradun home has two beautifully manicured lawns. You got to see it to believe in the beauty of those lawns. Let me help you with some pictures.........

After my Bath-

Inside my pink cradle-

I love roses-

And these roses-

Wow! I am in love with yellow-

And this rose too-
Wow! This is best-

I can smell it-

Lovely red-

Nice bouquet-

While my photo shoot was on, I was shuffling between sleep mode and wake-up mode; but would doze off to sleep right afterwards. Blistering Dehradun sun is making me sleep a lot. You know winters in Dehradun are divine as compared to smoggy and foggy Gurgaon. And, I am really enjoying this weather; although my body will take some time to get accustomed to this weather. However, once it does, I know I will find it hard to adjust to any other city barring Doon...

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My First Train Journey

5th December would start with my Rudra bhai proceeding for New Delhi airport to catch his early morning flight to Pune along with my chachee; my chacha and dadee would drop them off at the airport. My Ashu chacha will now be all alone in our Gurgaon home for few days as I too would leave for my Dehradun home by an afternoon train with my dadee, papa and mummy. My mother would finish the packing with my dadee’s assistance well in time; and soon I would find myself accompanying them in a cab for my first interaction with a large crowd at New Delhi railway station. Locating huge crowds in India requires no major effort; all you have to do is to hit the roads and they will lead you there. Back to my story again- my papa would look for our name in the reservation list and we would soon be seating on seat No 12-13-14 of Coach C1. Time to click my pictures inside the railway coach- so here it is..

Ain't this smile cute!-
Our train would reach Dehradun at 10.20pm against its scheduled arrival time of 9.20pm. My dadee would rush me inside our waiting car to beat the cooler Dehradun weather and it would soon sped away to our Sahastra-Dhara road home to find my waiting dada at the gate. My Radhee dada, Himmu dadee and Mukki chacha (my papa’s uncle, aunty and cousin) would also be there to welcome me and I would enter my own home (Gurgaon one is a rented one) in my dadee’s lap. My roving eyes are trying to spot the difference in the surroundings and I must tell you that they are many. Biggest one is that this space is my own private space- a result of all the hard work of my dada, dadee, papa, bua and chacha helped by my mummy and chachee in their own respective ways. My dadee would then take me inside my bua’s bedroom- called so as she designed it and lived in it prior to her marriage; and I would soon find me lying on a bed that saw Ridhima didi and Rudra bhai over it in the past.
The room is cosy and warm as my dada switched on the heater at least an hour back- How thoughtful! It is about time that my clothes are changed and I am given feed- I would propose and my dadee and mother would dispose as soon as I propose. I would soon doze off to my sleep ending a day that saw me undertake my first train journey to see my Dehradun home through my own eyes.

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Crying Babies Need Milk

The day started in a frenzied manner- as everyone was running late for work and that too on their respective important days. But I was busy sleeping and would not wake up even to see off my father before he leaves for work. Later, my dadee would wake me up and give me my daily massage and bath; while my mother dons the role of a photographer & would click some pictures. One that of crying..................
And this one right after I took my bath- wrapped in a towel gifted by Rakesh uncle. I usually feel hungry right after my bath and I wouldn't change my habit today as well and would soon go to sleep. On the other hand, my dadee and mom would soon get busy packing as we will leave for Doon tomorrow afternoon. In the evening, my father and mom would go to market to buy me diapers/nappies/tops/booties/innerwears. I would stay home with my dadee as I am sleeping. Moment after I wake up, I would start to cry and will not stop until my dadee gives me top feed. I would find myself in my mom's lap as soon my mom and dad are back.

I have developed some liking for a still ceiling fan. I just love it....more on it later....

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My First Monthly Birthday

You know, I am a 1 month old little girl today. It feels little unusual as the feeling of being called as-"one month old" is yet to sink in. Time just flies....it was just few days back when I was in the hospital waiting to come home. But that is past and so is this first month after my birth.

Although it is an altogether different story that I can choose to go back into that one month as & when I would want to- open my blog and start reading the archives.... simple baba....My day started in a hurry as my papa has a lot of work to do at work as part of board meeting preparation. Besides, today is also my date with doctor Manish uncle. My father would drop us at the hospital and leave for his work. While my dadee and mummy would accompany me to doctor uncle. Uncle was happy at my progress and gave me my vaccination as per my chart. It was slightly painful initially but I negotiated it well. My dadee and mummy would then bring me home in a cab. I was little sleepy and I would soon go to sleep. My mother's colleagues from her work would visit us in the afternoon to meet me- yes, not my mother but me...I felt great meeting all the aunties- Poonam, Soma, Rajni, Rupinder, Sabina- all came with a nice gift hamper. My mother was visibly happy to meet her colleagues after a long hiatus. I am afraid she will have to wait little longer to be in that office again... Sad for her but great for me!

I would conveniently go to sleep afterwards to wake up in the evening only. My mother would send Tinku chacha for my first monthly birthday cake. I would wait endlessly as both my Chacha and Papa are working late in office. As soon as they reached home, my Rudra bhai would help me cut my cake-chocolate one.He would clap with both hands and look happy- after all he played a perfect elder brother tonight. It's time to eat cake (my mom tried it on me too)and dinner.While everyone is having dinner, I would wait for my mother finish hers and feed me afterwards. It would be a while before I go off to sleep and my mother would have no choice but to sit upright and feed me. Soon, when I am done with feed, I would go to sleep with a smile on my face- a smile meant to express my happiness on celebrating my first monthly birthday.

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